*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition For the fall of 2020 the high school is introducing an entirely new sport called “Spin & Pin”  that involves aspects from cheerleading, high stepping, and wrestling to create a whole new meaning of dance battle. “I honestly am excited about this,” future player Smashington Brosif said. “I like the more physical aspect about this sport and being … Continue reading Pop, Lock, & Pin: Hi-Steppers, Cheer, Wrestling Make New Sport

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition On March 6 the football staff for the Tigers requested a new two million dollar bond for a new practice field. Offensive Coordinator Hugo Smolhaarms and Defensive-Line Coach Skip D’Leggdeigh were the two envelope-pushers for the new practice field, as they feared for their health. “I absolutely need a new field,” Smolhaarms said, “I built these calves up … Continue reading Make Way For The King: Football Gets New Field, Other Teams At Expense

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition With the golf season starting up, our home course Grey Rock Golf Club has been terrorized by hundreds of gophers who are stealing golf balls and tearing up greens. This has caused the team to have to try their best to avoid being a victim of the mischievous vermin.  “The team has been falling behind because of the … Continue reading Gophers Up On the Green: Golfers Terrorized by Rodents

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition With the crazy start this school year we are all wondering the same thing, what happened to Coach Travis Crain. It was almost as if he disappeared, one day he was here and contributing to our everyday lives, then the next moment poof, he’s lost and gone. How did it happen? Where did he go? Why has this … Continue reading Where's the Goat? Travis Crain Still Missing