Category: Satire

Opinion, Satire

Know-it-All, or Do They? The Secret Skill of Arguing

Anyone who works with other customers whether it’s a restaurant franchise or a store, you know that you get customers who believe they know everything despite being completely wrong. When going into work, you’re taught the phrase “the customer is always right” to maintain a friendly relationship with your customers so they don’t get angry with you. And for the most part, this little phrase … Continue reading Know-it-All, or Do They? The Secret Skill of Arguing

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Opinion, Satire

Donations for Debt: Solutions to the Ongoing Student Financial Problem

A common cry from the younger people of this country is that they are swimming in student debt, unable to pay it off. Why? Because college is so expensive these days that it seems impossible to pay for it unless you were born into money. Families scramble to scrape every penny they can and for the unlucky students whose family will not help with the … Continue reading Donations for Debt: Solutions to the Ongoing Student Financial Problem

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Entertainment, Satire

How Sims 4’s New Update Ruined My Life

The Sims 4 has recently released their craziest update yet, as sims will now have the ability to join you in your house! I first thought this update was a little scary because I’m not sure if I would want some of my sims to be living with me. Some of them are erratic, hot heads, or even mermaids! The reactions have been very split, … Continue reading How Sims 4’s New Update Ruined My Life

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News, Satire

An Easy Way Out: School Introduces New Language Course

For a long while, the language department at DSHS has needed new alternatives to engage and promote audiences. With a vast influx of students taking language merely for the credits, the school has decided to introduce a new language course to fit their needs: Gibberish. “We’re happily ready to introduce our new course next year,” said the districts page on their website, “we needed to … Continue reading An Easy Way Out: School Introduces New Language Course

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Features, Satire

Cybertruck Overrun: New Tesla Gigafactory Threatens Zilker Park 

Bulldozers and construction equipment have remained at work for months. Crew workers spend their endless days working to build the new Tesla factory, with only the end result as their drive to move forward. As the building continues, we face just one big problem: Zilker park. The once relaxing weekend spot filled with a myriad of people laying on picnic blankets talking with friends as … Continue reading Cybertruck Overrun: New Tesla Gigafactory Threatens Zilker Park 

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Features, Satire

The Rich Man’s Struggle

Many of the students at Dripping Springs High School were born well off, but what many people don’t understand is the burden of being rich.  “Being rich is a lot harder than what people are led to believe.” Junior Sara Pinto said. “My mom won’t buy me the new iPhone, but she will spend thousands of dollars on Gucci bags. I feel ignored and undervalued, … Continue reading The Rich Man’s Struggle

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Entertainment, Satire

Harry Styles Shares His Changed Way of Life

Harry Styles is a well known, loved artist within the Dripping Springs community because of his music such as his 2019 album “Fine Line”. He was discovered through his time in the popular boy band One Direction which was and still is quite loved. However, controversy has recently broken out as Styles contradicted one of his hit songs “Treat People with Kindness”. He stated that … Continue reading Harry Styles Shares His Changed Way of Life

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Entertainment, Satire

Exclusive: Ariana Grande Caught Robbing More Popular Brother, Frankie Grande

You heard that right, after years of living in Frankie Grande’s shadow, a source tells us that Ariana was caught robbing her brother Frankie, as she is going through a hard time financially. This source tells us that after her album only got three streams, all of which being from Frankie, she needed some way to find money. She’s lived her whole life in competition … Continue reading Exclusive: Ariana Grande Caught Robbing More Popular Brother, Frankie Grande

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Features, Satire

New Blue Bell Flavors Coming This Summer

Licorice- Everyone’s favorite candy is now an ice cream flavor. Bits and pieces of real black licorice can be found inside as an extra treat! Sadness- Eating ice cream is what some people do when they are feeling down. Well now you can actually eat your feelings. Pizza- A delicious tomato flavored ice cream base swirled with grease. Also bits of pepperoni and cheese can … Continue reading New Blue Bell Flavors Coming This Summer

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Features, Satire

Public School is Not a Waste of Time

To many teenagers, going to school is a waste of time. Why should students have to wake up at the crack of dawn to sit down for 8 hours 5 days a week?  But students do learn many life skills at school. Some include sleeping (children need their beauty sleep to thrive in adulthood), texting (children should learn how to communicate properly), sitting (good posture … Continue reading Public School is Not a Waste of Time

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