Contribution by Mary Carter
The snail who was in love with a tape dispenser,
Had you not heard such a preposterous tale?
They had little snail kids with plastic wrapped eyes,
And a million shared nick nacks they were so very attached to.
The snail was always an odd little slimeball.
He had an ugly shell and smelt of rug lint.
His favorite drug was warm milk
And he never could spell the word “guinea”
But its a chemical, being in love,
And all supposed they were meant to be together
He chanted he didn’t care what she may be,
Just that he loved her and was sure she loved he.
Their anklebiters were funny little saplings
Named each after a brand of syruped glue
But none were ready to leave the house when time arrived
So remain a snail, his dispenser and 3 little paperclips.
The snail with his tape dispenser,
And their three little dispensered children.
Prosperous no matter what the other snails may say
And thats just how he wanted it to be.
–Taped together, forever.