Pop, Lock, & Pin: Hi-Steppers, Cheer, Wrestling Make New Sport

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition

For the fall of 2020 the high school is introducing an entirely new sport called “Spin & Pin”  that involves aspects from cheerleading, high stepping, and wrestling to create a whole new meaning of dance battle.

“I honestly am excited about this,” future player Smashington Brosif said. “I like the more physical aspect about this sport and being allowed to wrestle as a team is intriguing.”

The rules of this sport consist of having two teams that have a dance off across each other and then at the sound of a buzzer the two teams then run at each other and attempt to pin the other teams players. 

“So the main objective is to wrestle and pin the other teams players until there are no more players left to wrestle,” Head Spin & Pin Coach Reeses Witherfork said.

The winner of each Spin & Pin match is determined by the number of players pinned and how the dance routine was scored.

“I think the judges have too much power in this sport on who wins and loses,” current varsity wrestler Edburt John said. “The winner of each competition should be mainly based on the amount of players pinned and very little on the dance routine.”

Many schools in Texas have already stated that they will have a Spin & Pin team in the fall of 2020. The first school to have this sport was The Big Kid School for Big Boys and Girls.

“The sport is very team oriented,” Witherfork said, “if the players dont work together to dance and pin the other team then the match is as good as lost. 

In this sport each week the theme of the dance changes. For instance the first planned Spin & Pin match theme is jazz. 

“Themes really should add a special effect and mood for each match,” wannabe highstepper Stacy McGrady said, “I wouldn’t know though as I have never danced or wrestled in my life. I am extremely excited to try it out though.”

This sport also includes stunts and throws similar to cheerleading except when it comes wrestling time players can launch their own players at the opposing team.

“Dangerous but completely different from other sports,” Witherfork said, “we are going to have to figure out a way to launch players safely granted that there are no forms of pads for this sport.”

Currently there are around 90 participants signed up for this sport. Opening up room for a potential JV to be formed for this sport. 

“The amount of students that signed up for this sport is wild,” back up principal Miss Frizzle said, “I did not expect this at all.”

Spin & Pin is predicted to be the most violent and injury prone sport of the decade according *Insert Sport* Magazine.

“Injuries are just pain kisses,” Witherfork said, “This sport will create a new competitive atmosphere at our school and will be extremely exciting to see how we do in the fall.”

By Grey Patterson, Staff Writer

Featured photo by Cole Ary

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