Where's the Goat? Travis Crain Still Missing

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition

With the crazy start this school year we are all wondering the same thing, what happened to Coach Travis Crain. It was almost as if he disappeared, one day he was here and contributing to our everyday lives, then the next moment poof, he’s lost and gone. How did it happen? Where did he go? Why has this happened? These are all questions we need to know. There has to be an explanation. 

Thomas Flustered said, ”I am as confused as ever and was unaware of the tragic loss of T-Crain and his outstanding shows of emotion.”

As we can only guess that the goat Coach Crain is now silently whispering to us as a ghost. It’s almost as if he decided that he fit better at this school as a figure only to be heard and not seen. It’s stunning to see a man just fade from our lives and not at all exist. 

“I was unaware of his disappearance until I walked into a dark gym and he and his sharp elbows were no longer shooting free throws,” said Gregory Blind. 

“I had no idea we had lost him until I was working on my creative writing work and no longer had that 6’3” presence among us in the room,” Berry Ubservent said.

I am sure we all have had these sort of moments of realization where we become aware of our unawareness about Crain. He was present within all of our lives even if we didn’t know it. His attitude was always the same, unrecognizable. To end this recognition I am able to say that though T-Crain is no longer with us here at Drip because of this tragic disappearance, we leave him with the greatest of memories.


By Grant Williams, Staff Writer

Featured photo by Vasi Bjeletich

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