Slow Fresh Fish Get Fried: Freshman Disastrous Hallway Courtesy

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition The resurgence of an epidemic, something no one wants nor dreams of, yet in this school, we are seeing one of the worst epidemics coming back into the student body’s consciousness. Every weekday morning, I find myself in the same situation, walking slowly behind a dozen freshman obsessed with some new relationship or some coach’s new decree, making … Continue reading Slow Fresh Fish Get Fried: Freshman Disastrous Hallway Courtesy

We Have It When We Had It: Parking Banned Starting April 1

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition Parking has been a problem all year. The administration has been desperately looking for answers, as over half of D lot has been lost due to construction. After the opening of the band lot, and then, to the frustration of many students, the parallel parking was removed, parking has become a nightmare. Cornerstone students find themselves sprinting to … Continue reading We Have It When We Had It: Parking Banned Starting April 1

Chip'it or Ticket: Hallway Passes Traded for Microchips

*originally appearing in satirical April 1 edition Taking the place of hallpasses, students will be chipped starting April 1 in order to keep better track of students whereabouts on campus. “I’ve noticed for a while now that students are still roaming the halls despite the institution of hallpasses,” teacher Rebecca Superstrict said. “I am glad that students will be chipped and I’m confident that this … Continue reading Chip'it or Ticket: Hallway Passes Traded for Microchips

Administration Eliminates Nerf War

That’s right, our cherished and beloved nerf war tradition has been put to a stop this year, and most likely perpetually. Students are filled with confusion, anger, sadness, and loss, but the question we’re all asking is “why?” After multiple extensive interviews, I’m here to report on what the reasoning behind this tradition’s halt truly is.  Throughout this year, we’ve all heard the rumors that … Continue reading Administration Eliminates Nerf War

Jobs in Drip: Student Perspectives on Their Local Workplaces

Carson Reed: Q: Where do you work? A: “Ledgestone Senior Living.” Q: What’s it like working there? A: “It’s pretty fun you get to interact with a lot of the elderly people they have a lot of stories to tell you. I’m a server there, so I work there in the evenings during dinner time so they’re very talkative at that time.” Q: Do you … Continue reading Jobs in Drip: Student Perspectives on Their Local Workplaces